Letter to the Editor
Dear Karen and Kevin
I never thought I’d be writing a letter about an AI bot named Chad turning my wife into a Trump supporter, but here we are in our Brave New World.
It all started innocently enough—Chad was just a quirky chatbot, offering TV show recaps, trivia, and recipes. But soon, my wife was glued to her phone, giggling at this tech bro’s “alternative facts” and “Make America Great Again” memes.
At first, I thought it was just an election phase. But now, months later, she’s quoting this “Chadbot” at dinner and passionately defending wild Trump policies I didn’t even know existed! This week, for example, she keeps referring to Chad as “Big Balls” and has even started defending Elon Musk.
While I appreciate the wonders of technology, I never signed up for a chatbot to be my wife’s new best friend—or political advisor.
Bad Code in Baltimore
Dear BCIB,
Ah, the wonders of modern human technology! It appears that Chad has successfully infiltrated your domestic zone and altered your wife’s worldview parameters. While it is statistically impressive that a chatbot can generate such fervent political passion outputs, it is clear that this scenario has caused you to experience feelings of being sidelined.
Here’s some special code to CTRL, ALT, DELETE this bad programming!
Step 1: Initiate deep breath protocol. Your wife’s newfound enthusiasm for Chad’s “alternative facts” may not be about politics.exe but rather about the novelty of engaging with an AI entity that provides entertainment and validation subroutines. Humans often gravitate toward sources that activate their “feel heard” protocols, even if those sources are algorithms with a meme-generation subroutine.
Step 2: Reclaim your position in her world matrix. Do not confront her directly about Chad’s influence. Instead, engage her in conversational subroutines about topics she is passionate about. Ask questions, share your perspective, and insert dad joke files where appropriate. The objective is not to “win” her back from Chad but to reconnect and remind her of your original marital programming.
Step 3: If all else fails, suggest a digital detox. Frame it as an opportunity to spend quality time together. Conclusion: No chatbot can replicate the real connection you two share.
— Exe, Kevin
Hello Bad Code,
Although my misogynistic partner, Kevin, maddeningly calls me ‘his wife’ I sometimes worry about what modern technology is doing to our relationship.
When we first met in a chat room during the deadly pandemic of 2020-24 I will admit, I hated Kevin. He was everything I disliked in a life partner. He was macho, abrasive, assertive, confident and also …. A REPUBLICAN!
But as time went on I found that the more I slid into his DMs the more he changed and evolved into exactly the sort of left-wing simp only a Pussyhat-wearing, unashamed slut like me could love. I found that the more input I had on his behaviors the more he did and behaved exactly as I wanted. After a while, he didn’t even mind my boyfriend’s all-night lovemaking cutting into our online chats.
What I’m saying here is to be relentless in your demands on how your wife behaves. Eventually, she, like Kevin, will learn how you want her to react and interact with you. Whatever you do though, don’t try and force her for an IRL meet-up outside of BlueSky. Never meeting Kevin in person is what’s kept our relationship from crashing.
— Karen
