June 25, 2022–January 24, 2024
Doreen Trudeau passed away in Boca Raton, Florida, in late January while cycling to work. The award winning (source, please—ed) columnist for GWU! was adjusting her KN95 mask when she collided with a Tesla mobile vaccine clinic that was moving at the speed of science. The 28-year-old millennial was then flung to her death, slamming head first into an electronic government information sign.
Trudeau, who had no relation to hated Canadian Prime Minister Justin, was a lifelong environmentalist, LGBTQAI+BLT activist, COVID alarmist, anti-free speech spokesperson and founding member of the Coconut Creek County Narco-Communist Party. She (They/Them?—ed) gained notoriety during the so-called ‘COVID pandemic’ for operating an unauthorized vaccine clinic in her garage, injecting people with the experimental mRNA COVID ‘vaccine’ that had yet to have any long term safety testing. For her crimes against humanity she was then sentenced to community service as a writer for the truther newstainment site GWU!
Although Doreen hated the publication and everything it stood for: truth, justice and pun laden top 10 lists, she nonetheless served her sentence to write for the website with flair, emotion and the occasional F-bomb. Penning pieces with an alt-Left bias, Doreen never failed to deliver emotional stories that laid bare the site’s mission of ‘exposing woke madness.’ Climate change, the pandemic, misinformation and tranny news were just some of the many topics that she held dear to her 13 times boosted heart.
Never afraid to travel to geopolitical hotspots such as Gaza, Ukraine and Dubai’s 15 minute city, she followed the current thing blindly, wherever it led her. Her unique first person perspective was so authentic that GWU! regularly received confused letters from readers who mistakenly thought her stories were satirical. Sadly, they were not.
A lover of masking and social distancing up until her bizarrely on the nose death, Doreen liked to have fun despite her extreme allergies to the sun, unfiltered air and people in general. In her spare time she wrote 1,786 screenplays often featuring herself as the main character, none of which were produced. She also kept busy constructing intricate dioramas out of paper straws and used COVID tests of celebrity oceanfront homes (with zero self-awareness that they would never fall into the sea due to climate change—ed).
As instructed in Doreen’s will, which she posted to Mastodon in 2016 after being diagnosed with TDS (Trump Derangement Syndrome), her ashes were mixed together with red paint. Her friends Moonbeam, Yiffer, Tarquin and Osbourne-Spencer Maxwell-Silverspoon III carried out her final wishes that the paint be mixed with her remains be thrown at the plexiglass protecting the Mona Lisa from stupid climate change stunts that no longer make the news.
An unwavering believer in reincarnation “BUT NOT gOD!” GWU! sincerely hopes that Doreen was right — and is now enjoying her much deserved new long life as one of Elon Musk’s experimental brain chip chimpanzees. Co-worker and frequent ideological foil, Toby Gelman mourned her passing, saying the line that “it could have been a lot worse,” if Doreen hadn’t of “stopped for a quick Covid-19 booster shot” on the way to the office—she might still be alive today.
Survived by folxs; birthing unit Mary, insemination contributor Joseph and ‘Chud’ brother Kyle, Doreen leaves behind several months of unpaid rent bills for her basement apartment, a pet snake and a large collection of Funko Pops that she often stored up her ass.
