Busting B-Ballers
It was a full court press during March Woke Madness, as once again the GWU! staff slam dunked on everybody’s favourite culture war. From the Toronto Raptors making the “insane” notion that only women can give birth to not one but TWO petitions to remove an Ottawa School Board trustee after she censored and libeled a concerned parent. The do-gooding dad didn’t want males, who thought they were females, watching his daughter change (now that’s just a foul—ed). GWU! is working overtime to rally future Toronto Mayor Ben Bankas or Chris Sky who will be able to referee the madness, once they split the vote 35 ways landing one of them as the new coach of the city.
We also published Dr. Jim McMurtry’s World Exclusive Tell-All. This brave teacher was canceled from the high school where he taught after speaking out against the Residential School narrative. Be sure to read award-winning journalist Rafe Klinger’s unredacted interview with Dr. Jim and our star reporter’s expose of best-selling author Derek Smith who is going to dress down left-leaning Calgary, which is currently a real drag to live in.
The Dog Days of Climate Change
The climate change brand of Greta Thunberg is getting a facelift, by way of the new weather girl Sophia Kianni. Kianni, a possible CIA agent (can somebody call legal!?!—ed), is ready to save Mother Earth armed with her sexy poolside Instas and a subscription to now canceled CNN+.
All jesting aside, the shining star of that hazy ozone layer of environ-mental-ism is a Grade 7 hero who spoke out on the dangers of 15 minute cities. We also examined a movement in France that claims chess is racist, and how resumes note they/them pronouns are being identified by employers as garbage. Speaking of gender, Drew Barrymore had a love-in on her daytime talk show with Dylan (who identifies as BS—ed) Mulvaney.
GWU! Goes Black to the White Movies
The 95th Academy Awards were sure to disappoint and besides a red carpet interview with Hugh Grant, they did exactly that. Our GWU! seat filler Clammy J. Byner captured all the highs, but mostly lows. Moscow correspondent Sicko (when not arming himself for the “war” in Ukraine) was busy collecting a hilarious list of Oscar scenes that were too woke even for Hollywood. Johnny Jock, while on the set of the new feature 12 Years a Slave (To Starbucks!), pulled back the curtains on a never before seen list of Black movies that are turning White.
GWU! is never too shy from saying the right thing to the left crowd and stay-at-home dad Toby P. Gelman did just that when he came to the defense of European Parliament member Fraulein Christine Anderson. Meanwhile… left wing loon Doreen Trudeau dissected alt-right books that need to be censored (looking at you racist Roald Dahl—ed). Don’t forget to read how Doreen rejected Steve Kirsch during the now famous—according to Kirsch’s Substack blog—$100,000 flight.
April showers will bring May flowers, but can we stop those weeping woke willows from identifying as bushes? Find out by keeping your eyes peeled and your opposable thumbs up on the website that’s not afraid to fling a bit of feces in the culture war on woke, getwokeup.com.
