The Canadian Broadcasting Corporation (CBC) is rumoured to have some mega woke insane TV shows in active development due to rushed diversity and inclusion government directives. But the television networks “Get Woke, Go Broke” mandate didn’t end there.

There were even MORE mental ideas on the table before they were junked for being too problematic even for the CBC. Time to tune in and drop out to low effort cringe ideas marketed for boomers with the IQs of Redditors. Get Woke Up! has obtained these confidential leaked half-baked ideas to share with our loyal readers.  

10. Anthony Bourdain: No Bug Reservations

Join the digitally reanimated image of deceased TV chef Anthony Bourdain as he weans Westerners off meat and softens us up to the globalist scam of the virtues of eating bugs. (Cancelled due to special effects cost exceeding CBC budget of $37 and a box of Tim Hortons new all cricket donuts)

9. My Secret Gender Identity

It’s a half hour of guessing on this new children’s superhero/social agenda puppet show, no strings attached! We follow the life story of newly super powered Bi-racial teen Jan who always has a hand up its backside, literally. Is he a she or is she a he? Pronouns get confusing and keep you guessing Jan’s “Truth” in this wild ride of Adam’s apples and hilarious dress-up adventures. Featuring classic children’s TV super villain, Mr. Undress Up wielding the evil powers of THE TICKLE TRUNK. (This idea never left the sketch board stage, also, Casey and that bitch Finnegan threatened to sue. Right-wing puppets!)

8. All In The Polyamorous Family

Visionary comedy producer Norman Lear is out of retirement at 100 years old! And he’s senile!! It’s family hijinks like you’ve never seen before in this family made up of husbands, wives more wives and they/thems, but wait, who’s the midget in the attic? (Hilarity would have ensued if Norman Lear’s Power of Attorney hadn’t gotten involved!) 

7. The ADHD Kids in the Hall

Why did you exclude my son from class just because he can’t sit still and keeps slapping other kids? No, he’s not medicated, thank you! It’s not his fault he thinks you’re a ‘fat dumb dumb’. He has a medical condition and must be accommodated. Why can’t you be more accommodating! (Sorry, that’s not actually a show, it’s a note to my kid’s teacher!) 

6. TOP GUN: Ukraine

The Top Gun Naval Fighter Weapons School in the Ukraine is where the best of the best train to refine their elite flying skills on a shoestring budget. When hotshot fighter pilot Zelensky is sent to the school, his reckless attitude and cocky demeanour put him at odds with the other pilots, especially the cool and collected Oilman Putin. But Zelensky isn’t only competing to be the top fighter pilot and stop Putin from destroying the supply chain, he’s also fighting for the attention of his senile flight instructor, Joe Biden. (Cancelled due to budget overrun for the soundtrack by Bono and Obama on the drums of war … and inflation, I was told to mention inflation.)

5. Everybody Hates Tate

Andrew Tate grew up in a Charles Dickens like setting. No dad, no money, no soup. But when Tate learned to kick butt as a kickboxer and date Romanian supermodels there was no Bugatting back. Now with his little brother in tow and a feminist sister on his back, can Tate climb back up the pyramid scheme of Hustler University even though he’s been banned from every social media account ever? (If it has the name Tate in it, cancelled!)

4. Buffy the Alt-Right Wing Slayer

Blonde blue-eyed All-American beauty Buffy had it all. Friends, family and a bright future ahead. Or she did, until she fell down the youtube rabbit hole of silver-tongued academic turned hateful right wing cult leader, Jordan B. Peterson. Buffy’s rapid ideological descent into alt-right radicalization was thankfully thwarted thanks to a Reuters Fact Check, inspiring her to become a UN misinformation media influencer. Now armed with a pointed list of talking points Buffy has become a keyboard warrior for equality, equity and the environment. (There seem to have been some rights issues with this one, and unfortunately Sarah Michelle Gellar who was set to reprise her role turned out to be rather unsettlingly ‘still smoking hot.’ Cancelled!)

3. $#*! My Dictator Says

This hilarious spinoff of the CBS hit, focuses on pretty boy Justice, a far left liberal politician with Cuban roots, who spouts off moistly on the importance of vaccines, the dangers of climate change, the benefits of abortion, and how everyone who disagrees with he/him is a white supremacist, despite the colour of their skin. (The network, however, never came to terms on a contract with the actor, which included a personal private jet, entourage of 15 electric SUVs, unlimited quantities of shoe polish, and a harem of young French Canadians to escort him to and from filming. Cancelled.)

2. Boy Meets Pandemic World

Follow the woke Black cousin of Fred Savage (not involved, totally inappropriate) Fredina as she masks, gets vaccinated, and falls for all the state-sponsored bullshit you’ve come to know and love over the past two years. (Wonder Years star and educational author Danica McKellar had initially signed on to the project but later backed out when she read the script for the episode, Math is Racist. Cancelled!)

1. Covid Theatre: Brought to you by Pfizer

Finally, all the Covid Theatre that has been playing out for the past two years in offices, schools and the home now has a safe space to increase the spread of; the fiction of wiping down your groceries, masks stopping deadly viruses and leaky MRNA therapeutics preventing infection or transmission of COVID-19.  (Cancelled when rapid antigen test viewing results came back as being false positive.) 

TV Shows that never made it past title concept:

M*A*S*K

Perfect CRT Strangers

Game of Twitter Thrones 

Breaking Bad Patriarchies

My So-Called Vaccine 

Sabrina the Teenage Trans Bitch

Band of Brothers… and Sisters!

Who We Do In The Shadows

Law and Order: 2SLGBTQI+

The All Female Rings of Power

CBC Viewer Submitted shows that were also rejected: 

Lez Go to the Rez: This cinema verite style show follows the lives of four plucky young Ojibway lesbians in Manitoba. In the opening episode, Chantelle successfully sues the Canadian government for double benefits on the grounds that she’s a “two-spirit” person. 

Honkey Night in Canada: Don Cherry returns to the public broadcasting network as a healing circle session leader where random people are put through Maoist struggle sessions where they come to terms with and confess their obvious white privilege and unknown anti-anti-racism.