It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas, as Blitzen DJs Mad Dug and Anthony of the Woke Up! podcast released a brand new interview with unacceptable fringe satirical writer Derek Smith discussing his latest Top 10 selling book, One Face, Two Face, Black Face, Blue Face. But it wasn’t all fun and reindeer games at the Get Woke Up! office as we exposed how online dating sites are finding unvaxxed in high demand. You can read about all the hate mail we received from the vaccinated sheeple, here. Remember, just like they say on Reddit, unvaxxed semen is the new Bitcoin!
Vixen reporter Johnny Jock offered up a hilarious and factually correct piece about the biggest celebrities you’ve never heard of who are leaving Twitter. We doubt new owner Elon Musk is losing sleep over the D-list virtue signallers. Speaking of Elon, in his vow to crack down on the woke and electrify freedom of speech, we revealed the 7 biggest spreaders of misinformation that he vows to cancel. Remember, folks, you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make her drink water without Kool Aid.
Our elfin staff writer Rafe broke a piece about some of the creative ways one student at a Waterloony area university is mocking mask mandates—now, that kid has got some snow balls… and a grapefruit on his noggin.
We had a special report from the front lines of the Ontario school strike, when a janitor with a clear conscience gave us the dirt on how unions are manipulating the workers. Talk about a clean up of human excrement in stairwells C,U,P and E! We also revealed how woke city councils ended up on Santa’s naughty list after they used a misinterpreted Supreme Court ruling to remove a nativity scene from public spaces.
Part-time prancer and full-time virtue signaller our Left of the Left opinion writer Doreen Trudeau phoned in how Dave Chappelle’s Anti-Semitic SNL rant must be taken seriously by Hollywood and 5 vaccine side effects that are totally fake news. In solitary with Black Friday, straight shooter Toby Gelman slam dunked his op-ed Je Suis Kyrie Irving, a touching love letter to the point guard, flat earther, and Amazon Prime subscriber.
Be sure to follow Get Woke Up! On Twitter, Facebook, and our new Instagram account ALL CAPS. And get the jump on breaking stories we’re following on one of the coolest new Reddit subs, r/WokeMadness.
We’re calling for a Dark Winter this December with full skies of raging woke madness and a high chance of insanity so be sure to subscribe here, donate, and, remember, when you fall, always GET WOKE UP!
