The Trudeau government has surrendered to the horns of freedom. Months after the historic Freedom Convoy Protest against vaccine mandates began, the government has announced that unvaccinated Canadians will be able to travel on planes and trains.

The long overdue announcement to end the unscientific and immoral so-called ‘COVID mandates’ is said to also include dropping the public sector requirement that all bureaucrats be vaccinated. It will come into effect June 20. Because, science.

Foreign travellers, however, will still need to show proof of vaccination and unvaccinated Canadians returning to Canada will need to quarantine. Also, because, science. The big scary government has warned that if circumstances change, it could ‘readjust measures’ again.

HOW UN-CLASSICALLY LIBERAL OF YOU

Get Woke Up! podcast host Anthony Anderson is elated that plague rats, such as himself, are finally allowed to get back in the mile-high club. He says that the question of vaccinate mandates has been thoroughly politicized by the Left since the start of the COVID-19 pandemic. 

“The Liberal-Communist junta of Justin Trudeau came to power in 2021 by weaponizing the issue of vaccination and othering any Canadians who disagreed with government as right wing, misogynist, racist terrorists. Conservative MPs were only marginally better, having only recently crawled out from under their rock to denounce the second-class treatment of citizens when they saw the political advantage to do so,” says Anderson in a live in-person, maskless interview.

The Liberal government announced federal mandates two days before the last federal election was called in August. Anderson says that the party ensured it was a key issue in the 2021 campaign so that the Liberals could show “over the top unscientific mismanagement of the pandemic.”

10-4 FREEDOM

The correctly called “Freedom Convoy” liberated Ottawa and blocked U.S. border crossings in February to protest all mandates. The Trudeau government enacted the Emergencies Act under false pretences, freezing some protestors bank accounts, and jailing others on trumped up charges of mischief. Despite being a peaceful gathering, protestors were beaten, pepper sprayed and trampled on by police horses.

Shortly after the Freedom Convoy was dispersed various provincial governments began a slow, calculated walk back from many of the insane mandates for vaccination, gatherings and masks that had marked the last two years. 

MY UNSCIENTIFIC MANDATES KEEP ME SAFE, YOUR UNSCIENTIFIC MANDATES KEEP YOU SAFE?

Getting rid of the last remaining federal mandates has supposedly been hotly debated for months behind closed doors within Prime Minister Justin Trudeau’s cabinet says Get Woke Up! podcast host Mad ‘Dug’ DuChamp. “The gutless pension watching, pronoun using, cucks have actually just been quietly mewing like kittens for small policy tweaks here and there based on polling. Oh and the recent election win of Conservative Premier Doug Ford in Ontario and the ejection of Premier Jason Kenny in Alberta, kinda had them shit their pants,” says the reluctantly double jabbed DJ. 

For many months ‘the science’ has been clear around the world, both vaccinated and unvaccinated travellers spread and get COVID at the same rate. Furthermore ‘vaccines’ lose what minor protections they may have after just months. In fact, some argue that a free Spotify trial lasts longer than the vaccine.

DuChamp says that political science was the only thing holding mandates in place. “Health Minister with a womans name, Jean-Yves Duclos apparently remained concerned the government would be sending Canadians “contradictory messages on the benefit of vaccination” if the mandates were dropped. Because they think you’re all children,” sneers DuChamp.

The government has recently been under increased pressure from the opposition parties, as well as industry organizations, to relax some public health measures in response to delays and long lineups at airports. Anderson says that only when normies were “mildly inconvenienced on their way to a ‘dope all-inclusive’” did the government relent on its “gross violations of Section 6 of the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms, freedom of mobility.”

“Meh,” says Woke Up! podcast voiceover announcer and crypto currency enthusiast. “The government doesn’t care one bitcoin about you.”  

HOW’S MY DRIVING YOU CRAZY? CALL 1-800-GOVERN-MENTAL

Government officials, including troll-like Omar Alghabra, Health Minister Jean-Yves Duclos, and Chief Public Health Officer ‘Top Doctor’ Thomas Tam have pointed to mandates as an effective way of getting more Canadians vaccinated. To which Anderson stated on a recent episode of Woke Up! “Translation: we’re taking your shit away and sending you to your room until you go and kiss grandma with your three masks on.”

Even so-called experts have questioned the effectiveness of vaccine mandates for travel with the emergence of the virtually similar Omicron variant. Doctor Thomas Tam has said that effective protection against the variant requires a third, booster dose. Doctor Bill Gates agrees that the vaccines basically don’t work at the 27-minute mark.

All Canadians, both vaxxed and unvaxxed owe a debt of gratitude to the truckers says Anderson. “Honk, Honk.”